How to be a more charismatic man and pass confidence?
Some people are like magnets. The world seems to gravitate towards them, and they hold the attention of others authoritatively and effortlessly. Fortunately, it's not as difficult as it seems to develop your own charisma.
If you're looking for insights on how to be more charismatic, this article is for you!
Did you know that, according to history, President Kennedy was one of America's most charismatic leaders?
Kennedy was known for his ability to walk into a room and command it instantly. There have been other famous people with this ability such as Elvis Presley, Theodore Roosevelt and Johnny Cash. But Kennedy's charisma was out of the ordinary. He comfortably enjoyed the highest approval ratings of any post-World War II president.
So how did he and the others become so extraordinarily charismatic? Was it purely a matter of heredity? Was it a skill he learned during his education?
Cutting to the chase, it's possible to emulate it in a truly transformative way.
What is charisma?
Charisma means the ability to exude a magnetic charm that attracts other people and earns their admiration. Being charismatic also means being influential, including over the opinions of others.
Your ability to be charismatic is partly a function of your personality. Some people think of it as something occult and mysterious that is only granted to a privileged few.
While this is partly true, it is also true that charisma can be worked on for a person who wants to have more charisma and sympathy.
President Kennedy's ability to draw people close and inspire them did not happen by accident. We know for a fact that he was acutely aware of his presence and how others perceived him.
This meant careful consideration of his affection for people.
This awareness of affect was strengthened by a psychological construct known as Mindfulness.
There are more definitions (and books) written about mindfulness than we might think. But when we synthesize everything, it is nothing more than the ability to live in the here and now. In other words, it means being in this very moment - like now.
When successfully employed, mindfulness allows you to clear mental debris from your psyche so that you can be fully present with others. This is what happens when you do meditation.
There is no "magic" behind mindfulness. Instead, the concept is based on ancient Buddhist teachings that are firmly embedded in modern Zen. However, the uses of mindfulness are not limited to meditation. An individual can also practice mindfulness in the company of others.
So, if you want to attract people with charisma, you first need to master the art of mindfulness. If you think about it for a moment, it makes perfect sense.
How can you tune in to others, including all the nuances of thoughts and emotions that lie beneath the surface, in a genuine way if you are mentally distracted? Also, how can you prioritize your own external expressions when your thoughts are internally focused?
Your ability to be charismatic is linked to how people perceive you. So mindfulness is the key factor in the equation. When you stop looking at your navel, when you free your awareness of cluttered thoughts about yourself, you free yourself to analyze the subtleties of your environment and then leverage that knowledge to your advantage.
Is charisma genetic?
Research tells us that charisma is an important part of leadership. In the peer-reviewed journal Administrative Science Quarterly, House, Spangler, and Woycke (1991) investigated the topic of charisma related to US presidents.
They found that some people can be born with a charismatic gene. Although inconclusive, it may suggest that some are born with the ability to attract people and win them over.
Aston University has also looked into the issue of heredity and charisma. They found that some people have a specific version of a gene that is presumably linked to charisma.
On the other hand, what if no one in your family line was particularly charismatic? Does that mean you are doomed?
The honest answer to that question is: no. That's because there are many men who have learned to be more friendly, charming and inviting.
Olivia Fox Cabane is the author of "The Charisma Myth: The Power of Personal Magnetism to Master Professional Success. Her belief is that anyone can engage in a specific set of behaviors, empowered by mindfulness, to become a nicer person.
But before I share these traits with you, I'd like to say that creating personal change takes time.
In other words, when engaging in some or all of the suggestions made below, it is important that you give yourself permission to be imperfect during the process. You should also consider implementing them gradually.
10 tips to be more charismatic
The following are 10 tips on how to have charisma, with various thoughts from Cabane's book, plus my own research on men who had the "charisma chip" built into their personality. Check out!
1. Be present in the moment - Mindfulness
The most important skill you need to strengthen is being present in the moment. In psychology, this is called having a "here and now" approach to life.
A simple way to do this is to close your eyes, clear your mind of any extraneous thoughts, and then open your eyes again. Ask yourself, what am I aware of?
Using all five senses (touch, sight, smell, hearing and taste), focus on the issue of what is happening around you. Do you see clouds? Do you hear an airplane in the sky? Is the mint taste in your mouth because you're chewing gum?
By focusing on the moment, you engage in the ultimate form of mindfulness. In turn, this allows you to be there for others.
Being in the moment is also a catalyst for the rest of the tips below.
2. Have self-confidence
Most books and websites will tell you to exude confidence. What they don't tell you is how to exude confidence when you don't feel confident.
Part of this "How to be charismatic" question involves visualizing yourself as an attractive man. The trick is to be realistic about what you visualize. For example, if you are 1.72 meters, visualize yourself as a person of that height, don't try to fool yourself.
Have confidence in yourself and your abilities. By doing this, you automatically instill more trust in people.
As part of the approach, imagine yourself smiling at others. Imagine them deliberately gravitating towards you. If your goal is to fool yourself into thinking that everyone will like you, think again. Attraction doesn't work like that. But if you believe that some people will like you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In other words, if you accept that you are capable of gaining greater admiration from more people—which is true for you and everyone else—you put yourself in the right frame of mind to realize your vision.
3. Smile with truth
One of the hallmarks of being nicer and more charismatic is smiling. The problem for most people is doing this in a way that doesn't look fake.
So how to do it?
The answer is simple. That's because the act of smiling can be used as a conscious exercise in your thoughts.
Instead of forcing yourself to smile, it's better to focus your attention on something that makes you happy.
An example might be imagining how your pet expresses itself when you walk in the front door. Does that thought bring joy to your heart and a smile to your face? If the answer is yes, hold that thought and use it as a battery to strengthen your own self-expression.
Finally, I would like to point out that smiling can occur in more than one form. Specifically, I'm talking about using your eyes to smile.
To do this, squint your eyes a little while arching the corners of your mouth up. Realize, when we squint our eyes slightly when smiling, automatically the smile becomes more genuine and attractive. Otherwise, people who smile with their eyes wide open seem like they are forcing positivity.
4. Have an optimal body posture
Have you ever noticed that charismatic people have excellent body posture? This is no accident. People with charm and charisma make a careful choice to stand tall, but not rigid.
Next time you're at a party, find someone who seems especially magnetic and pay attention to their body language. She's probably not sloppy and bent over all the time. Your posture will demonstrate an energetic correction.
Another important detail is to avoid crossing your arms or putting your hands in your pockets when you are talking to someone or to a group. These two gestures can show that you are not open to people or that you are uncomfortable.
One way to create positive change in this area is to practice in the mirror. This may sound silly, but it's a proven way to get positive karma flowing. I can guarantee that George Clooney spent hours and hours practicing his postures and expressions in front of the mirror, so there really is no shame in doing this.
In psychology, this type of approach is called mirror work. This is another term used to describe how therapists help clients change their self-image.
5. Exercise self-care
There is a term that is being used frequently these days: self-care. But what does self-care really mean?
At its core, self-care is defined as the act of investing in yourself physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It means liking yourself enough to engage in behaviors that honor your body and mind.
In this context, a very important point is full attention to personal appearance. No, I'm not talking about encouraging a guy to become a narcissist. Rather, it's about seeing the link between sympathy and self-esteem.
Self-care also means knowing when to disconnect from the world and get adequate rest. Because we can't give people what we don't have; It's kind of hard to convey good feelings if you're angry and grumpy, isn't it?!
That's not to say there won't be times when this happens. Many of us work too hard, with no choice otherwise. But if you can ensure that self-care is part of your daily schedule, it will go a long way toward improving your charisma.
In other words: you take care of yourself, you are happy and satisfied, and as a result you can be more pleasant to other people.
6. Know how to listen
One term you may have heard about is Active Listening. But what does it mean?
In short, active listening is about paying attention to what the other person says, being able to interpret and maintain the dialogue, using body gestures and questions in a way that demonstrates that you are attuned to what the other person is saying. saying.
While this takes some practice, it's not difficult to master.
For starters, it helps to occasionally shake your head or tilt your head when receiving certain information. You can also open your eyes or slightly lower your chin to show a sense of surprise.
Finally, active listening involves asking clarifying questions, that is, you ask about a specific point in the subject.
When we study the trajectory of charismatic people, we can see that active listening is a crucial skill. In general, people tend to like people who are considerate.
7. Imitate the body language of the person you are talking to
Imitating the body language of a person you're talking to is an extension of active listening, but it deserves its own section.
This means adopting some of your interlocutor's mannerisms. The trick is to do it subtly.
For example, if the woman you're talking to is lively, don't respond like a rigid, super serious person. Instead, mirror their expressive behavior. Examples include hand gestures, lifting the chin, etc.
8. Call the person by name
Whether in an individual situation or in a group, it's important to use a person's name during the conversation.
By doing this, you send the message that she is an important person.
You only need to say the name once or even twice if you want to stress how important it is to you.
People like to feel important and that will make you more charismatic to them.
9. Be humorous
Many people confuse being humorous with being funny.
President Kennedy was known for his quick wit and it was something that often manifested itself in the form of humor.
So, you don't have to be the joker of the class, but be light and more "good with life". This is the point!
10. Show your feelings
Don't be afraid to show your feelings. Research has revealed that people "connect" with others who feel real. This humanizes the situation and increases the connection with each other.
Obviously, it's not about saying everything you think and offending someone. Use common sense as a guide. That said, if you express yourself as you really are, you'll be surprised how people will be drawn to you like a magnet.
Example: if someone has stunning brown eyes, compliment them with meaning.
Conclusion
Being more charismatic, charming and pleasant are three attributes that many men seek. This is particularly interesting for people in leadership positions.
Follow these 10 simple but valuable pieces of advice and see the way people see you change little by little.
References:
- House, RJ, Spangler, WD and Woycke, J. (1991) Personality and Charisma in the US Presidency: A Psychological Theory of Leader Effectiveness. Academy of Management Journal, 36, 364-396
- cabin. O. (2012). The Charisma Myth: The Power of Personal Magnetism to Master Professional Success.
