What a woman expects from a man, according to therapists

What do they tell the therapist that they don't tell men? We will cover 7 topics (validated by therapists) about what women say about men in counseling offices. Some things may even seem like common sense to you. Other topics may surprise you.

Relationship and romance issues come up quite often in therapy offices. Of course, people can seek counseling for help with anxiety and depression (which is very common), but at some point, issues like love and relationship frustrations arise as they are so connected.

The complaints addressed by a woman in therapy vary. However, it is surprisingly similar to what many other women share.

What do women like to talk about men in therapy?

Here is the first topic about what a woman expects from a man and reveals this in therapy:

1. Intimacy

No surprise, right? But, it might not be what you're thinking.

To summarize, intimacy does not always mean sexual intercourse. In many cases, it's about attitudes that come in the form of affection. In other words, it's about the act of consensual touching, like caressing and holding her hand when you walk.

Did you know that touching your spouse triggers the release of brain chemicals that help strengthen the bond between the couple?

The problem of lack of intimacy is huge because the longer a relationship lasts, the less frequent intimacy seems to be.

On some level, this is to be expected - no doubt. But the problem arises when the person feels an emptiness due to the lack of intimacy with the partner.

So a question for you to think about is what is your definition of intimacy? Does this definition sound like your spouse's? Is she satisfied with your intimacy?

2. Personal interests

It's about having varied interests and being okay with talking about them during conversations.

As a marriage therapist I consulted with for this shared, "Women like guys who are willing to go beyond superficial things like current events and sports."

Many men are super smart, but they purposely hide this part of themselves because they think they don't fit into a masculine build they bought for themselves.

When you study Stoicism, you quickly discover that a healthy part of masculinity involves embracing our intelligence and interests.

I believe it was Marcus Aurelius who said, "These are the characteristics of the rational soul: self-awareness, self-examination, and self-determination. It reaps its own harvest. It succeeds in its own purpose."

Do you like things like history, science or current events? If so, it's okay to talk about them! What's more, it's okay to be curious about topics you're not familiar with.

The idea here is to throw away all that nonsense that so many of us have learned about what it's like to be a man and not be a prisoner of the stereotype. The truth is that being more productive and having interests of your own can be very attractive traits.

3. Romance

In the early stages of a relationship, the feeling of romance can happen almost magically, depending on the chemistry.

But what women say is that once the honeymoon period is over, romance is over. This is even more true for long-term couples.

Some dating couples, when they decide to move in together or get married, simply end the romance. Even romantic dinners cease to exist.

The point of sharing this with you is to keep you and your girl from hitting the autopilot button. In other words, be mindful of maintaining the relationship.

Do you consider yourself romantic? If not, what could be different?

4. Have a purpose

Women can be doubtful about the men they date when they don't have a purpose in life. They like to be with men who have a sense of where they are going.

In many ways, purpose is linked to trust and security. And all of us, men and women, want that: confidence and security.

Do you know your purpose? If the answer is no, what are you doing to find out?

5. Have goals

In the therapy office, women share that they like men who have goals. And not just abstract goals, but concrete goals that are actively being worked on.

The problem is that some of us are afraid to talk about our goals because we think it will make us look foolish or stupid.

But here's the problem.

Talking about goals demonstrates your intellectual curiosity and confidence. But calm down, your goals don't need to be high. It could be, for example, learning a new language or learning to cook.

So here's a question to think about: what are your goals? If you know what they are, do you keep them to yourself or talk about them?

6. Learn to listen, but don't try to correct

Women share that they value men who actively listen to their problems. This may seem simple enough, but if we tend to intervene in these problems, it's not a nice thing for them.

As men, we are prepared to make things right. In other words, we are programmed to start solving problems as soon as they arise. There's nothing wrong with that and it can be very helpful.

But, as so many women say in therapy, "I don't want my boyfriend to tell me how to solve a problem. Sometimes I just want him to listen and let me vent."

And look, I understand. There will be times when you will hear the same problems popping up over and over and you will want to help solve them.

In these cases, instead of going into fix mode, it can be helpful to simply say, "It's really annoying that you have to deal with this right now. What can I do to help you?"

Most of the time, you'll hear something like, "No, I'm fine, but thanks for listening, it's great to have your support."

If she wants your help, she'll probably ask you - and that's where you can come in with your ideas.

7. Self-care

In simple words, self-care means demonstrating that you value your emotional and physical well-being.

Now, let me be very clear here. This does NOT mean you need to look like a bodybuilder or fitness model. That's not what I'm suggesting.

Instead, I'm talking about taking care of yourself holistically, because it shows that you value your mind and your body.

What happens all too often in relationships, particularly in the long run, is that people use their relationship status as an excuse to abandon self-care. The thinking goes something like this: "Well, I'm out of business right now, so I don't need to impress anyone."

And while there is some truth there, we forget that self-care is fundamental to mental and physical health. In short, when you take care of yourself, you're likely to be in a better mood - and this will affect many other areas, even your libido and your sex performance.

So there you have it - The 7 Secrets Women Bring Out in Therapy About Men.

To you, how many seem to be common sense? And which ones made you stop and reflect?