My wife doesn't want to have sex! Find out what it could be
The decrease in sexual intercourse in a relationship, especially in the long term, happens with a certain prevalence and most of the time it is the woman who does not want much intimate contact with her partner.
At some point or another in life, a woman not wanting to have sex is normal. But if the frequency of sex drops dramatically, there may be an underlying cause.
In this condition, the man may think that there is a problem with himself, which is pushing his partner away. However, there is much more behind it.
Discover the 7 main causes of sexual aversion in women:
1 - Tiredness and stress
Day-to-day tasks, such as work, cleaning the house, taking care of children, etc. can kill the woman's desire to have sex at the end of the day.
In fact, this goes for everyone, both women and men. Perhaps, she is overwhelmed and stressed with daily activities. With this, it is almost certain that a woman's sexual desire decreases.
See if on her rest days or vacations, she is more willing to have sex. If tiredness and stress are the reason and there is no way you can help about it; so try to please her more. Give the woman oral sex or a more sensual massage. She will feel valued and relaxed.
2 - Lack of preliminaries
Women take longer than men to get excited. Every person has their preferences in sex. If you like to go straight to penetration in the vagina, without arousing the woman enough, sex may not be very pleasant for her and the tendency will be to avoid it.
Therefore, the ideal is to have empathy and take into account what she wants too. If that's the case, doing a little more foreplay is the answer. You can kiss her passionately, touch the woman's erogenous zones, make sex a little more sensual adventure... If the reason is the lack of sexual stimulation, you will benefit a lot from foreplay.
3 - Decreased female sexual desire
Decreased sexual desire in women is usually caused by a drop in the female sex hormone. Typically, this happens with the onset of menopause, which is common for mature women.
Menopause brings with it a series of imbalances in the body that can even lead to anxiety and depression. But, there is treatment through hormone replacement, to help balance hormones and improve the unwanted effects of climacteric.
Hormonal imbalance in younger women, before the menopausal stage, is not so common, in any case, it can happen. The combined birth control pill commonly causes a decrease in female libido in younger women.
The cause of a woman's lack of sexual desire should always be investigated with a specialist doctor. Proper treatment is able to bring back the desire for sex, as well as improve several other hormonal issues.
4 - Depression and anxiety
Psychological conditions like depression and anxiety are common in our modern society. These are conditions caused by several factors, from hormonal imbalances to everyday stress.
Depression deprives the body of wanting to feel pleasure, and anxiety does not let the person relax the mind and body, as if they were in a constant state of alert.
If this is the case, it is ideal to take the appropriate drug treatment and even change your lifestyle, if necessary. A person suffering from depression or anxiety needs understanding and support from their partner.
5 - Lack of lubrication
The lack of vaginal lubrication leads to discomfort and even pain in the woman during sexual intercourse and, as a result, she will tend to avoid sex.
There are several causes of lack of lubrication in women, such as menopause, emotional trauma, chemotherapy or surgery to remove the ovaries. Anxiety and stress are also causes of lack of lubrication. Still as a cause, it can be the lack of foreplay that aims to increase sexual stimulation, which in turn leads to greater lubrication of the vagina and penis.
Treatment consists of addressing the root cause. And the use of lubricant is very welcome!
6 - Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a condition that leads to involuntary contractions in the vagina during sexual intercourse or when introducing objects, such as in gynecological exams, causing pain in the woman and preventing penetration.
The causes of vaginismus are diverse, including infections of the genitourinary tract, pelvic tumors, anxiety, stress, psychological trauma such as sexual abuse, fear of sex, among others. It can affect women of any age and whether or not they are sexually active.
It is possible to cure vaginismus by treating the root cause with a gynecologist and sometimes with a psychologist or psychiatrist as well. Treatment consists of the administration of gynecological and psychotropic medications, in addition to therapy with a psychologist and pelvic kegel exercises, which are done by women and men to help regain control of the pelvic floor musculature.
7 - Loss of lust for the partner
And finally, the loss of lust can be the reason why a woman doesn't want to have sex.
There is no manual on how the intimate relationship between a couple should be, but love, respect and trust should be the basis of a healthy relationship. Love is something very important and one of its manifestations in a relationship is through sex. There may still be love, but if the relationship wears off, the lust is likely to subside. It's not nice to know that, but sometimes it happens.
However, all is not lost! The ideal is for the couple to exercise communication to see if the love and the desire to follow a life together still remains. Couples therapy can help identify your desires, doubts and frustrations. Talking in a therapist-supervised setting helps drive communication so the couple can decide what is best for both of them.
