The definitive guide on how to get out of the friend zone

Are you in love with someone, but they just want friendship? This is a difficult situation to deal with. You value your friendship, but you want to take the next step and don't know how.

If you're stuck in the friend zone, it's probably because you're too worried about what will happen if you try to leave. The best advice you can follow is: stop worrying and go after what you want!

What is the friendship zone?

Friendzone is the English term for friendship zone. It means this is the place where you have feelings for a person, but they see you as just a simple friend.

Maybe she even tells you about her problems with the guys she likes and you listen and give advice.

She hugs you in a very friendly way and looks at you like someone would a cute pet. Every day is the same reminder: you're just a friend.

You try to flirt every now and then, but you feel like the idea of ​​seeing them as a couple would shock you more than an alien walking through your front door.

You just don't know what to do.

Sure, it's good to be friends... if you don't want anything more than that.

But when you want more, you can feel like you're stuck on both sides. You hesitate to intervene, afraid that it will ruin the friendship and make things more difficult. But you also know that just being friends isn't enough.

Welcome to the friendzone!

Those who manage to leave do so over time, through luck or passion, but it is by no means a precursor to starting a romantic relationship. You can't force yourself out of the friend zone. In fact, the friend zone is already a form of rejection.

The good news is that this rejection is not completely irreversible. Some men may be successful in escaping the friendzone.

How do you know if the other person just wants friendship?

Have you ever heard the following phrases?

1 - I would like to meet a guy like you, you are a wonderful friend.

Translation: the person wants someone like you, but not exactly you.

2 - Of course, we can go out together! Let's invite others!

Translation: The person only wants to see you in a friendly context, with other people.

3 - Yes, you are a great person! Otherwise, you wouldn't be my friend!

Translation: Whenever you try to approach her in a romantic way, she reverts to something more casual and platonic.

The friend zone can manifest itself in several different ways:

• You are the one who calls or texts to maintain the relationship as friends;
• One-sided conversations in which only you keep the discussion going;
• She talks a lot about her ex-boyfriends and other crushes;
• Mentions the "type" of person she is attracted to and describes the details that do not correspond to her personality or physical type.

How to get out of the friend zone in 12 steps

What do you do if someone you love has already put you in the friend zone? Although our first tip is to try again with someone else, we understand that it's not always easy to give up what your heart desires.

If stopping being just friends is what you really want, it's quite possible to achieve, but it will take time and effort.

1 - ask yourself if she would be interested

No matter how much you love someone, you can't force them to love you back. So ask yourself: Would she ever care about you in a different way?

To help:

• Ask your mutual friends what they think about this;
• Think about your connection with her – is it really close?
• Examine the past relationships she has had and whether you are like them.

2 - reset things

Perhaps the hardest part is changing the way she sees you. And this change must be natural.

Step away from the things that make you a great friend and start changing your attitude and approach in all your interactions. Become a different person, someone who cannot be considered just a friend.

To help:

• Look at the people she is attracted to. What does she like? That's what youare you?

3 - focus on yourself

First of all, there's a reason you fell into the friendzone. There's something about the way you are that needs work, whether it's your confidence, your attitude or your social interactions.

Don't just follow your passion, but try to focus on yourself for a while. It may take a while, but it's worth the wait.

To help:

• Focus on the aspects of your personality that inspire you the least confidence. Create changes in yourself;
• Give yourself the space and time to implement lasting changes that go beyond your romantic pursuit.

4 - patience and time

To get out of the friend zone, sometimes you just have to wait. Be patient, let the changes in steps 2 and 3 begin to happen. Because these changes need to happen both in your mind and in the mind of the person you love.

As much as you want her to see you as a potential partner, you must truly value yourself as someone worthy of being loved.

To help:

• Don't move too fast - small, positive interactions are great, but they're not the final ones. Stay calm.
• It's as much about loving yourself as it is convincing her to give you a chance.
• Ask yourself again: why do you love this person so much? Do you still love her, after her changes?

5 - stop being "just" a friend

If you want to stop being just a friend, then... stop.

Start flirting with her. Comment on her appearance and let your hand rest on her shoulder for a while.

Aim for hugs that are less friendly and a little more intimate.

Dress well and show your style. You can still be friends with her, but show yourself under the profile of a potential boyfriend.

6 - make visual and tactile contact

When it comes to getting out of the friend zone, eye contact and touch are two great power tools.

Look into her eyes when you talk and smile at her. Let the romantic tension set in. Touch her affectionately from time to time, as long as she responds positively.

Another way to show that you want more than friendship is to flirt with her in your text messages.

But be careful! If you're too available, you run the risk of appearing like you need a lot of attention.

7 - look your best

The truth is that many men who get stuck in the friendzone lack self-confidence. They may feel uncomfortable with sex or have some internal issues that bother them.

There can often be a feeling of inadequacy or an inner belief that “I’m not good enough for her.”

Get that thought out of your head. Work to become the best version of yourself. Pay more attention to your passions in terms of hobbies and work.

To help:

• Do physical exercise;
• Practice a sport;
• Learn to cook;
• Read books that interest you.

Regardless, do your best. She'll notice, believe me.

8 - show interest, but don't be needy

Be more than a friend, flirt, use your eyes and body language to show that you love her. Do your best! However, when showing interest it is very important not to be needy or try to get too much attention.

When you are needing and looking for a lot of attention and validation, this removes any chance of her being attracted to you.

When you are interested in her, always keep your mind clear: your high value exists regardless of whether she likes you or not.

9 - make your choice

Even if you are shy you need to act. You will always be in the friend zone if you behave like a simple friend.

Let the girl know how you feel and be clear about it. Don't try to cling to friendship as a “consolation prize” or hide how you feel. This creates an apprehensive energy, even if she doesn't know why you're acting strange, she will notice and start avoiding you.

Making a move doesn't mean you have to rush in for a romantic kiss the next time you watch a movie together, or show up at her door with a bouquet of roses.

Just be natural. Look into her eyes and tell her you have feelings for her. PerAsk her if she feels the same.

The sooner you do this the better, as months and even years of detention create all kinds of tension.

Remember: Even if she rejects you or doesn't feel the same way, she will respect the fact that you have been open and honest with her.

10 - invite her out at a specific place and time

Try to choose something you know she likes, whether it's a restaurant, a show, or a walk in the park.

Make it clear that this is a meeting. Be upfront about it.

"Do you want to meet me this Friday at that ice cream shop you love? I know you love the milkshake there!"

11 - praise her

Give her compliments in a romantic way. Talk about her special personality and physical beauty. Don't be shy.

Even if she doesn't like you, she'll love hearing this.

Ask her how she feels about you. If she says you're a good friend or that you're "like a brother", etc., tease her some more.

12-invite her to her house where you will cook for her

Women like men who know how to cook. Be that guy.

Invite her to her house, drink some wine and prepare a delicious dinner and dessert for her.

Kiss her. You've come this far. It's time to be brave, soldier! Go get the kiss and see what happens. It can be amazing and be exactly what she wants too.

When you get here, you did it. Finally out of the friend zone!