How to write a love letter to wife or girlfriend?
Looking for information on how to write a romantic love letter to your girlfriend or wife that makes your loved one gasp, but without being over the top and extravagant? If that's what you want, you're in the right place!
Let's face it, as men talking (or writing) about our feelings is not something we normally do.
There are numerous reasons for this, but it is mainly cultural norms that act as barriers to communication. Also, when talking about our feelings, we technically make ourselves more vulnerable, and that's something we're not comfortable with.
But here's what you need to know: writing a love letter is one of the most powerful things you can do to win a partner's heart even more.
There was a time when men always wrote love letters. But the practice has disappeared over the years, largely because of email and text messages that have made things faster and somewhat cooler.
Think about it - when was the last time you opened an envelope containing a handwritten note? Probably a long time, right?
And so, that's what this article is about. To inspire you and teach you how to write a real old-fashioned love letter that wasn't something ready-made you picked up off the web.
How to write a romantic letter
In simple terms, a love letter is something a person writes to express intimate and deep feelings in writing.
While these notes may be electronic, they were historically created with pen and paper. Length sizes range from super short to very long. Much depends on the author and the relationship with the recipient of the note.
As we delve deeper into this topic, it makes sense to question the purpose of a love letter. In other words, why write one?
Well, I could bore you with a bunch of flowery, heartfelt nonsense, but I'm going to pursue psychology instead.
Some men want to know when is the best time to write a love letter. In my experience, there really is no such thing as a "right" time.
That said, you are more likely to be the author of something during the early stages of your relationship when the romantic connection is strong.
In the academic sense, this is known as the intensification stage (Tolhuizen, 1984). Think of it as a kind of honeymoon period; a point in time when they both agreed to become mutually exclusive from each other.
During intensification, the physical connection is heightened, while the emotional bond continues to grow.
But here's what I want to point out: love letters are most effective after stepping up.
This is because the romantic notes themselves help keep the relationship going, especially after the attraction starts to wane.
So don't just write something as a way to get into her heart. Instead, think of your letter as a way to stay in her heart.
A critical aspect to consider before putting pen to paper is understanding your love style.
Love Styles was a bonding approach conceptualized by John Alan Lee in his book Colors of Love. He postulated that there are six main types of love.
Before continuing, let me state clearly that it is possible to have a combination of love styles. Lee's work is not to be taken literally. Instead, think of them as a framework for your letter inspiration.
In this way, knowing your love style can help you write something real.
According to John Lee, the types of love are:
1. Eros
Eros is defined as romantic love, it is the perfect love idealized and promoted by our culture, where passion and emotional devotion originate bonds, sometimes even harmful. The attraction is intense and immediate, and attention is paid to physical appearance, absolute devotion, and ownership.
2. Erotic love
This is love oriented exclusively towards desire and the sexual act. In the theory of types of love according to John A. Lee, this typology deserves attention for a very simple reason: through these sexual encounters without an emotional component, a stable and even satisfying relationship is not always consolidated.
Purely erotic love does not sustain itself in the long term, giving way to the search for new loves.
3. Ludus, the playful love
People with a playful style in their affective relationships see love as a game, where the objective is to conquer, obtain benefits, whether emotional, sexual, fun, etc. Therefore, to achieve their goal, they do not hesitate to seduce, deceive and manipulate. They don't commit and build emotionally distant relationships.
"Playful" individuals, according to the theory of types of love, focus only on short-term benefits.
4. Pragmatic love
In this type of love, people are governed by a sense of logic, where they relegate emotions to the background and focus only on the usefulness of affective relationships. With this, the more pragmatic ones often wonder if their potential partner would be accepted by family and friends, or if they will obtain financial stability or if it will be someone who will affect their calm and personal balance.
5. Mania or obsessive love
The obsessive love style is present in people who are dependent and focused on satisfying their own needs. They are profiles with great emotional oscillations, where at times they are cold and at others passionate. They are possessive, jealous, controlling, and can be abusive.
6. Agape
Here we have a bond that can bring us happiness. They are people who know how to "give and receive". They are profiles that focus on their partner's needs, that unconditionally offer their affection, that are committed, that care and take care of themselves, that work in a bond based on satisfaction and harmony.
The 6 types of love usually appear combined and interspersed in our affective relationships.
For example, if you have an Eros dynamic, it can help to draw on this knowledge and mention the beauty of some aspects of your loved one's body.
However, if your love style is more companion-based because you've been together for a while, it makes sense to talk more about the emotional aspects of your bond, for example, talking about how good it is to share your life with her.
On the other hand, if your relationship is practical in nature – which is often characteristic of a long-term couple – you will want to talk about how certain needs are met, for example, talk about her dedication to her children. and what an amazing mother she is.
Knowing the types of love helps you think carefully about what you and your spouse share.
Picking up paper and pen
Once you've focused on your feelings, it's time to put pen to paper. Adapt the following to your personal situation.
It may not seem important, but the writing tool you choose will have an impact on the quality of your letter. The same goes for the type of paper the note will be written on.
This point may seem simple, but it's worth mentioning. When writing your letter, write it in a quiet place, free from distractions.
As you begin to write, keep in mind what you are feeling. Know that this will help guide you in a powerful way.
Using platitudes won't really work when you write a love letter. Women can see this. Instead, you should choose to talk about the details.
In other words, answer the question: What are the things you love about her?
You don't need to spend a lot of time on this area of the letter, but it's important to mention it somehow. In fact, when we relate to someone, a transformation occurs, such as how you became a guy who sees more beauty in the simple things in life.
In the next part of your letter, you can reaffirm your commitment by talking about the future. A simple sentence or two is really all it takes.
An example might be, "My love for you knows no bounds. There is no future without you." Another might be, "I will always be here to help you, always being faithful and true."
When finishing the letter it is normal to be a little cute or draw something memorable - like a heart or a smiley face. You can do it, no problem - and women like it!
Conclusion
The important thing to keep in mind is that your love letter doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it's the subtle imperfections that will make your writing authentic and meaningful.
The important thing is to make sure that everything you write comes from your heart.
Some people think love letters are a "Valentine's Day thing". I guarantee not. You can write something whenever you want. In fact, the most significant cards are the ones you deliver when they're not expected.
